Journal entry from Wednesday, May 14, 2025, 5:17
Where do I stand?
On the precipice of the unknown.
Holding a secret only I can bear.
A secret blossoming from the shadows like night lavender.
Will I take the leap?
Regret stains my veins if not.
Pains fill,
My body rot.
Into the uknown leaving behind this little dot.
Not forever but a time unknown.
Only my soul will know when it’s time to come home.
I wrote this poem in my journal. Generally, don’t write poetry when journaling in the mornings. I think it’s happened a total of twice. The next day, May 15th, my journal entry states I have begun my preparation for the journey of a lifetime.
The question of regret first crossed my mind on May 7th when I was in Portugal at Mirador de Sao Pedro de Alcantara taking in the breathtaking views of Lisbon. While the picturesque scenery before me was peaceful, inside my mind was anything but. Questions of my own existence flurried by.
Who am I?
What is the purpose of life?
What is the meaning of existence?
Am I living the life I really want?
Apparently, some of these answers came to me not long after because I had decided to make a complete change of direction in life. I began my preparation to embark on extended travel.
Over four years, I earned a promising tech degree, landed my dream job, and now I was willing to let it all go.
For what?
To see the World.
Traveling has become part of who I am, and ever since my first time, I’ve had this wanderlust to go see as much of the world as I could. Unfortunately, for the average person, there isn’t much time available to do that, myself included.
I honestly think the idea was seeded with the first traveler I met. Aurelie. She was just traveling around wherever: Spain, Costa Rica, Guatemala.
The freedom enticed me. The courage inspired me. The reality terrified me.
A few solo trips later and a few trips with my favorite travel companion, my mom, and I was ready.
One of my favorite authors wrote this quote, which I am a firm believer in:
Travel is never a matter of money, but of courage
—Paulo Coelho
Some may argue otherwise. But I’ve noticed people with money who want to travel don’t because they don’t have the courage. People with the courage to travel and perhaps little money still make it happen.
Therefore, it truly is a matter of courage. Of course, money is necessary to some extent.
I know this was and is still true for me.
I learned the world isn’t as scary and dangerous as people and the media make it seem. I truly believe people are inherently good. My desire to see the world greatly surpassed my fears of uncertainty and the unknown.
This has given me the courage I needed to embark on this journey.
